I'll Be Home for Christmas

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated October 1, 2008

Dear Mom,

I appreciate your email very much. I'm glad the power is back on and you and Dad can get back to regular every day living. And, these pictures are amazing. The new Park has a volley ball net?! That is terribly exciting. Ever since I got transferred out of the Samoan ward I haven't played volleyball.

Oh, as far as jury duty goes, I might as well stick to that date and get it over with. I'm not sure if you read about it in my last letter, but I checked my application status online a couple weeks ago and it said I had been denied to BYU Provo. I'm not really sure where to go from there, but going to school in Idaho doesn't sound all that appealing. I check out both the University of Texas and Sam Houston University, but still I'm not convinced one way or the other. I've got the idea that I can start out like Adam did in community college and see where it takes me from there. Especially because I really don't know what career I want. I know I've got plenty of time to figure it all out and only two months at home doesn't sound nearly enough to get grounded before heading out to school. I'll leave it at that for now.

I always say there is plenty of time to think about those things on the plane ride home.

We've spent the last week here in Upland, searching for new investigators. At times it feels like we're not doing as well as we should be. That just means I need to step back and remember that this is the Lord's work. All I have to do is make sure I'm focused on doing it His way. Whenever, I try to take over to do it my way it hardly ever works out. We've talked to really great people who are sincere about learning the gospel. I feel so blessed when we finally find someone like that. Each time is a miracle and a breath of fresh air. It feels like I've been out forever, but I really wouldn't have it any other way because I know I have been about my Father's business.

I'm so grateful for everyone who has made this possible. Especially my parents.

Thank you both Mom and Dad.

Love,

Elder Freeman

Three Weeks

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated September 24, 2008

Dear Mom,

I love being a missionary. Yesterday we went around talking to people looking for someone to teach. We talked to many people and taught many lessons, but no one could see how much this gospel can bless their lives. Last night we talked to a man that had basically pulled himself out of the gutters of LA. He supported his family in a nice home by working cement. He's a tough guy but you could feel his frustration when he talked about losing everything. I wanted more than anything for him to know the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. He flat out rejected it. I told him that if came down to his last ditch effort, that reading the Book of Mormon is what he should do. I don't know if he'll ever consider it. All I know is that if he does, it will change his world around completely for the better. He will have more hope, and more strength, even more love. But, that is a big if.

The rest of the night I thought about how troubled the world is. I longed for nothing more than to see people turn to God in a way they only talk about.

We talked to a young man who said he would never follow a prophet of God at the risk of missing the mark. He said that no man should stand between us and God. Then, when we commited him to read the Book of Mormon, he said he would have to ask his pastor. No wonder the Savior said that they honor him with their lips but their hearts are far from them.

Just know that I am finishing strong. This is the greatest opportunity I have to teach the Gospel. I appreciate every minute of it. I hope you all are doing well and if the power's not on that it will be soon.

May the Lord bless and keep you.

Love,

Elder Freeman

Steadfast and Immovable in the Gospel

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated July 2, 2008

Dear Mom,

Thanks for all your amazing letters. You never need to worry about them being too long. You're the only one who ever writes me, and my companion always wonders why I spend so little time on the computer.

Thanks for those links from uncle Alan. I'm sure they will be useful. It makes it easier for us too. I had no idea how I would be able to figure out what he was talking about. But, like you said it may not add up to much unless he is willing to humble himself and receive a witness of the Holy Ghost. I've known that for a while now, but it never ceases to amaze me how extremely vital it is.

Especially now, more than ever, it seems like we've been facing greater and greater opposition. People we've never met before will come right out directly and boldly tell us how we are wrong and teaching false doctrine. And to be honest, it can be upsetting. Many missionaries will challenge it then and there and pretty much pick a fight. I know that never accomplishes anything, and I usually just let it go and move on to the next person. But, for a while now I've wanted to be more direct and more bold, and the tricky part is not to come off over-bearing.

This morning I was reading when Alma and Amulek were teaching the people and they really laid into the people. Now I know I'm no Alma nor Amulek, but I have just as much right to defend the truth. I don't have to argue and I don't have to get angry. I just can't let people whom I've never met and don't know me to challenge my integrity as a witness of the Savior and His Church. I've also noticed the General Authorities being bolder in conference talks. I know I can follow their example and be steadfast and immovable in the Gospel I know and love. You're a great example mom and I love you very much.

Love,

Elder Freeman

Saolatoga

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated May 21, 2008

Dear Mom,

So many wonderful things have been happening. We are preparing a family for baptism. The tricky part is that the two oldest children aren't excited about being baptized.

In the Samoan culture, the head of the household determines the fate of the entire family. Brother Young, the father, really wants all of his family to be baptized at the same time, and we are thinking that the kids don't feel like they have a choice. We've been trying to figure it out for a while, how we can help Brother Young understand that no one will be forced into the kingdom of Heaven. It's difficult for us because we are young, but we asked our Bishop to visit him and talk to him about it.

The children are really very bright and have understood everything we've taught. Elder Hafoka and I figure that the only way they will really find out if it's true and commit to act on it is if the decision is entirely up to them. If the father and mother are baptized without them and begin to progress in the gospel, the children can then decide for themselves if they want to follow the example. The most difficult part will be the parents letting them go and choose for themselves, because there is always that possibility they won't choose the right.

Well, that's the whole point of this Plan then, isn't it. I'm grateful that I was never forced. I remember long ago when I was given the choice and just now realize the affect that had on the rest of my life. Thanks for having the faith that I would choose the right. Thanks again for everything else that you do.

Love,

Elder Freeman

The Field Is White

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated May 14, 2008

Dear Mom,

Thanks again for the emails and the pictures. I always enjoy seeing what goes on with the family. I was surprised to talk to Alora and Aaron on Sunday. They're growing up so fast.

Thanks also for the advice, I value it a great deal. I'm excited for what the future has to bring, I'm sure you well remember I always have been. But, of course, my future back home won't come for another five months and in the meantime there are dozens of people who need to be baptized. We are actually working with an entire family of 6 who are being prepared to be baptized on the 31st of May. They're all Samoan and their last name is Young. We've been teaching them for a while and hope they will be well prepared.

Being in the Samoan wards here has been such a blessing. There's a little over three weeks left in the transfer and I fear it may be my last in this area. But, whatever happens it will be for the best. I remember what President Tolman said before I was sent back out, and I realize there was a much greater purpose for me to be reassigned here.

I think I share the sentiment of most missionaries when I say this experience has done far more good for me than I could have ever done for someone else. I marvel at the tender mercies given to us by such a loving Heavenly Father, and recognize my purpose is simply to call others to attention of the same in their own lives.

Lately, our appointments with the investigators of our own area have been falling through. So, we resort to street contacting in hopes of finding people for other missionaries to teach. It reminds me also of something else President Tolman said, that I was not set apart as just missionary for a particular mission, but for anywhere. Yesterday, we were blessed to teach 10 lessons and provide 2 solid referrals for our mission. It's my testimony that with a little preparation and following the guidance of the spirit, wonderful things are possible.

Thanks again mom, for everything.

Love,

Elder Freeman

Laborers Are Few

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated March 27, 2008

Dear Family,

First, Thank you, Mom, for emailing me. It really is the highlight of my week. As always I don’t really appreciate what I have until it’s hundreds of miles away. I love to hear about everything that goes on at home. Good, bad, happy, tragic and everything in-between, I want to hear about. Now it seems like everything is going pretty good.

I [am] happy to report that good things are happening here. Last week was transfers and my good Samoan companion was transferred far away to Apple Valley. Well, it would be far if we didn’t cover the entire mission.

There have been other interesting developments. If you recall at the end of last year I was serving with my half-Samoan/half-New-Zealander friend, Elder Ah Wong, and we covered both Samoan wards, the big one and the small one. Then, they split our area and I got my Samoan companion, Elder Leiato, and I served with him in only the big Samoan ward and Ah Wong got his new companion and they served in the small ward. Elder Ah Wong went home in February and was replaced by Elder Hafoka. Last week they took away his companion and they took away my companion and now we are companions and cover both wards again.

That’s been a pretty big change. Before, when we only covered one ward we had enough time to spend up in the Hisperia/Victorville area. Now, both bishops are concerned about sharing missionaries again and are also concerned with how much time we spend up in the desert.
So, for all intents and purposes, it’s like covering [two] wards and a branch. The branch hasn’t been formed yet, but is desperately needed. It’s only a matter of convincing either the Area Presidency or the First Presidency.

We’ve been compiling a list of neglected Samoans in the Hisperia/Victorville area for the past [four] months and President Sanchez said he sent copies straight to Salt Lake and to the Area Authority and even all the Stake Presidents involved. We have even been teaching several Samoan families in Hisperia, but since they only really speak English they will end up being baptized in the English wards, so unfortunately we’re in the process of giving them up to the other missionaries in the English wards. That will cut our teaching pool in half, and take away a lot of baptisms, but it will give us more time to focus on the wards down here.

It seems like everyone is just waiting for approval of a Samoan unit in the Victorville/ Hisperia area, and everyone is so convinced that it will solve all the problems, and it very well may. My only concern is that while everyone is waiting, the lost sheep will get even more lost, and by the time they choose a sheep herder they can understand, they will be too far gone away from the Shepherd.

At times it feel like we’re walking on thin ice. All we want to focus on as missionaries is bringing people into the gospel. But, with the instability up in the Victorville/Hisperia area it’s very difficult to do that. The support is structured for a different language and a different culture, and the support we do have that can cater to their needs is too far away. So we either trust in the Palangi ward and stake leadership to serve their needs or we do everything we can and try our hardest not to step on anyone’s toes.

President Sanchez says if anything does happen, it won’t be for a long time, maybe next fall. Until then, we’ll continue to do our best and accomplish all that is asked of us. That way when all is said and done we can be held guiltless.

Thank you all for your continued love and support. I pray the best for all of you.

Love,

Elder Freeman

Overcoming Obstacles with the Scientific Method and Divine Inspiration

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated February 20, 2008

Dear Family,

Once again I spend half my email time thinking about what to write. There aren't a whole lot of new developments. Nothing amazing or life changing. It's all just the same old missionary type stuff. I've been in one area for about four months now and that's the longest I've ever been anywhere. It's cool because we're finding a lot of people to teach and some of them are just barely starting to take the right steps to gaining a testimony of the restored gospel.

There are plenty of distractions and things that get in the way, but that's why we are here. We are being tested to see how we overcome those distractions and obstacles. First, we have to recognize the obstacles and then resolve to do whatever it takes to get over it. Usually it doesn't take a whole lot to overcome obstacles; the only hard part is finding the right way. There are infinitely many ways we can't overcome obstacles. Thomas Edison knew that: he found several hundred ways not to make a light bulb. So, when we rely on ourselves, we have to sort through several hundred variations of the wrong way to go about it.

The most wonderful thing about the gospel is that we can go straight to the Lord for the only right answer we need. He will answer in His own way only after we do everything we can to figure out our own best solution. That's how we grow. It's the scientific method coupled with Divine inspiration. It's the same reason our math teachers always tell us to show our work, or the step we took to come up with the answer we have. So when our answer is wrong they can look back through and show us where we tripped up and we learn for next time.

Heavenly Father also wants us to show our work, then when our answer is wrong he can go back and show us where we tripped up. Check out that section in the Doctrine and Covenants [Section 9:8-10] where Oliver Cowdery found out about it. But, not only is it the way investigators come into the gospel, its the way we stay in the gospel.

Thanks for all the emails and pictures and everything, especially the support of your prayers.

Love,

Elder Freeman

The Bread of Life

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated February 13, 2008

Dear Family,

First, I just want everyone to know how much I love our family. I had never expected it would be my first thought to come to mind when writing an email home. Usually, I read through all the emails I've gotten for the week and hit the compose mail button and stare at the screen for at least 10 minutes. But, for some reason or another this week is special. I feel it more than ever that everything comes together for a specific reason. Even the things that seem hard to swallow or even trials that seem insurmountable. It seems we are finding new dimensions of challenges in our lives as individuals and as a family.

Dallas, you made a wonderful reference to the Prophet Joseph Smith in your last email. That's one of my favorite things to talk about. Sometimes we fail to make the connection between the way God has worked in the past and the way He is working now. Yes, I must have taken Hyrum and Samuel Smith a great deal of humility and courage to accept what they heard. But, think what a great deal more they developed after all the trials they went through. Joseph himself heard the comforting counsel of the Lord who told him that even if he had to face hell itself, that it would be for his good.

Elder Holland always says salvation is not a cheap experience, and that the road to salvation leads through Gethsemane. But, because of Him who has already descended below all things, we are required not so much as a taste of the cup that He drank. The gospel is a wonderful thing. Not only do I have the privilege of teaching it every day, I can step back and hear how it blesses the life of those who I love more than anything else in this world. It is a privilege not to have to be stuck in the middle of it, because that just makes things confusing.

I have great hope in knowing one thing. Ever since I can remember, my entire family has remained faithful to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. We haven't been perfect by any means, but we have grown as individuals and as a family and remained faithful to the covenants we have made with our Heavenly Father.

Right now, we are teaching about 5 different families who are unmarried. It's been a challenge, and I'm having a hard time figuring out what these people need in order to take the steps toward committing to their spouse and ultimately committing to the Savior. My studies have led to a better understanding of laws and ordinances and justice and mercy, and other wonderful principles of the gospel. I've come to the conclusion that they are afraid that making the commitment will make them vulnerable to future heartache and frustration. But, that isn't the purpose behind this commandment. The purpose to any and all commandments are for our protection and blessing.

They aren't fences to restrict our agency. They are guide-rails to prevent disaster. As a family who has been faithful to our covenants, these guide-rails have yet to fail us, and I can't help but to think that they never will. That's the purpose of Heavenly Fathers plan. We don't just come to save ourselves. Our fates are inseparably connected, and for that I am grateful.

I'll use a metaphor to sum everything up. When I was young, my mother and father taught me everything I need to know to be self sufficient. Just like the old saying goes, "if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, but if you teach a man to fish you feed him for life." Well, I don't remember anything about fishing. but, I do remember making homemade bread. I'll never forget how either. And every time I make that bread I can't help but think about my loving parents and brothers who helped me become what I am today. I can now share this wonderful gift to those I serve. I hope they like it, because it represent everything the gospel has done for our family. It also represents the sacrifice of our Savior. "Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God."

Thank you all for everything, and remember how much I love you.

Love,
Elder Freeman

Free Agency

From Elder Paul Freeman, dated January 16, 2008

Dear Mom,

Thanks for the letter. There isn't a whole lot that I can say about it, just that I hope and pray everything works out for the best.

One of the things I've been learning is not to worry myself about things I have no control over. That mostly comes from recognizing what it is I can't control. It's a fun process.

The best way I get by is to focus on goals for things I know I can accomplish. For instance, I know I can keep the apartment clean, take car of all my laundry and shopping and stuff like that. I also know I can teach so many missionary lessons in a day, how many scriptures I can memorize and other things like that.

Now, the gray area lies in things like my companion waking up on time every morning. I could try forcing him to wake up every morning to accomplish that as a goal. But I know that wouldn't be in keeping with how the gospel requires everyone to make the decisions for themselves. But, at the same time, that doesn't mean I have to give that up as a goal. That's where D&C 121 comes in. The parable of the sower is a good one too.

This isn't meant for advice in reply to your email, so much as a reminder for myself in case I ever forget, which I usually do.

There are some exciting things going on out here. I tell you as more develops.

Thanks again for everything.

Love,

Elder Freeman